Friday, July 30, 2010

She Will Let Me Know

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!



This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com/. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about child-led weaning. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!


  I still hold onto guilt for making my first child wean, even though she was 2 1/2 years old. It was forced, upsetting, trying, and stressful. I felt like I was breaking her heart and it was killing me. I am not quite sure why I gave into what everyone was telling me or feeling like I just could not do it anymore. When my second child was conceived I was determined to be a stronger mother for her.

During my second pregnancy, I read about breastfeeding in my la leche league book, talked about it online, and remembered my experiences with my first child. I did not quite decide to do child lead weaning until DD2 was about 2 years old. I just kept making small goals like making it to 6 months, then a year, then a year and a half and so on. I even tried night weaning because of her front teeth being more susceptible to tooth decay. I could not go through with it. She just kept crying and nothing would console her. With family, doctors, dentists all telling me I needed to wean at a little over 2 years old, I just started responding with "We are doing child led weaning." "WHO recommends breastfeeding until at least 2 years old." "She will let me know when she is ready to stop." Every couple of months it seems I need to reassure people in our lives that we are still doing child led weaning and she will let me know when she doesn't want to breastfeed anymore.

I have noticed that DD2 feeds less often. She is more into playing with her older sister and neighbors. She wants to play pretend and change 20 times a day into another outfit. She stays busy. Even so, it is comforting for her to wake up and go to sleep with some num time. It is the first thing she asks for when she gets hurt or upset. It is her "blankey," and it is so awesome to be able to provide her with a stable source of comfort and get to have some time for just her and me. I cannot say that breastfeeding for this long has not put stresses on different parts of my life, but I do not nurse for my benefit (although there are multiple benefits for me).

One of my jobs as a parent is to make sure that my child is secure in her place in this world. Breastfeeding offers her security in a time of metamorphosis from baby to child. I will continue to offer her the security she needs. I let her ask for num and most often I let her tell me when she is finished with a session.

Another task as a parent is to make sure she is well nourished. There is nothing made better for human consumption than human milk. I feel confident in my breast milk. DD2 has rarely been sick. She has never had antibiotics, she is not immunized. She is always in the top percentile for her size. It supplements her picky diet as a toddler. It keeps her hydrated.

Maybe another part of choosing child led weaning is that it is out of the "norm" for United States statistics. I want our breastfeeding relationship to set a positive example for people in our lives. Breastfeeding is normal and it is good. I am tired of people being weirded out by something my breasts were meant to do. Maybe more people will see that what we have is good and be more supportive to breastfeeding relationships in the future.

She will let me know when she is done breastfeeding. It will be on her terms.





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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Wordless Wednesday: DD2 Breastfeeding Photos



Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!


This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to http://www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com/. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is Wordless Wednesday: Breastfeeding Photos! Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

















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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I Remember A Baby Friendly Workplace

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to http://www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com/. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about breastfeeding and employment. Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!


With my first child I worked and went to school while breastfeeding. I had two jobs that were very accomodating to breastfeeding. One job was with a youth-run childcare through an organization that helped teens be more involved in the community. The other job was helping out at a gently used and new maternity, nursing, and children's store. I wish there were more employers that were supportive of breastfeeding or bringing children to work with you.

The first real job I had outside of yard work and babysitting for people was being an administrative assistant at a youth-run childcare for toddlers. We worked out of the child development class at one of the high schools in the town I grew up in. A group of teenagers, whom later became my good friends, put together an after-school drop-in childcare that they ran which was also managed by a teacher who had major experience in early childhood education. We had a 1:2 ratio which is super awesome. They allowed me to bring my baby in while I did paperwork and created a newsletter for them. In addition, DD1 got to play with the other children as she got older and I helped out with watching the children. I breasfed her freely. This particular experience helped me be a better parent in many ways in addition to feeling secure about my choice to breastfeed.

The next job I had that was breasfeeding friendly was at a second-hand store, which also houses the largest selection of nursing bras in probably all of North America. The store owner let me take nursing breaks whenever I had DD1 with me. Here I learned about various pumps, bra fitting, baby wearing, maternity and nursing clothing...You name it, I learned it there most likely. They had a play area and a book section with a rocking chair. If a mother wanted more privacy she could sit in a dressing room. We had disposable nursing pads in the dressing rooms too. Parents would freely let their children roam through the toys and books while they looked through clothing and accessories, or picked out a few bras. We would hold babies, entertain toddlers, and help find the perfect gifts. The saddest thing I did was move away for college.

I have not found a job as welcoming to babies and breastfeeding as those early experiences I was lucky to have. If I ever get to have my own business, I know that I will implement a baby / breastfeeding friendly environment for customers and employees.





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Monday, July 19, 2010

NIP a Lil Giant, How We Do It

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival! 




This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to http://www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com/. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about baby friendly communities. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

 
Nursing in public has been a difficult personal battle. On one hand, I want to be a positive role model for other breastfeeding moms and feed my children whenever they need it. On the other, I am fearful of how the community I am in at the time will react to me breastfeeding or nursing in public (NIP).
 
We have lived in many different places and I have breastfed  in public in many different circumstances. Some of the steps I have taken to make it easier to have a successful public breastfeeding experience are, ditching the cover, using a sling or carrier, wearing layers, and ignoring the weird glances.
 
With my first child, I read all the parenting books I could get my hands on. I was a teenage mother. I was wholeheartidly going to breastfeed. I did not have money for nursing clothing, I had 2 nursing bras, some hand me down re-useable cotton nursing pads, my pre-baby clothing and my boyfriend's closet. I tried using a cover and was successful some times. Even so, usually it took so long to get the cover, a receiving blanket, correctly positioned so none of my flesh was exposed and I could still see my baby that she was so upset her crying drew the attention of people nearby more than me breastfeeding. Eventually, I ditched the cover. I started layering my tanks over my nursing bras with some button down shirts I borrowed from my boyfriend. NIP became so much easier. Unclip the bra, unbutton the top few buttons, pull up the tank, it was so much easier and baby cried less.
 
Recently I learned that if we wait until the baby is crying to breastfeed them, then it is already too late. When they start crying their tongues retract and it is harder to get a good latch, that is probably one reason why my nipples were so sore and scabbing those first 2 months. Instead, we should watch for their hunger cues, such as them licking their lips, moving around their arms and legs, putting their hands to their mouths, etc. This is when we should breastfeed them for a more successful breastfeeding experience.
 
As my first got older, I learned about slings and oh how I wished I had one when she was younger! For my second child, years later, that is one of the first things I bought for her. I found used slings on craigslist, for about 1/3 the cost of them new. I got two ring slings. I wanted to be able to adjust how closely I carried the baby over the time of her rapid growth. I never left the house without a sling. She was such a long baby I did not feel really comfortable with the cradle position and her legs tucked into the sling, either did she. We did a lot of upright time in the sling and cradle time with her legs hanging out to the side. It might have looked funny with a baby's legs hanging out on my side, but I did so much NIP with no comments on me "whipping it out", no weird looks at me for breastfeeding it was awesome. I highly recommend a sling especially for the first year and a half. I walked around stores breastfeeding hands free while pushing a cart. Just take safety precautions and make sure the baby has space to breath and their heads are not tucked downward making it harder to get enough air. 
 
As DD2 got older I needed something that would help disperse her weight more evenly but allow for us to breastfeed while I carried her. I found the ergo baby carrier. It seemed like exactly what we needed. There were not that many locally for sale online that were used. I started bidding on ebay and then a friend found out I wanted one and bought me one that was on sale through amazon. I cannot speak on using an ergo with an infant, but it has been awesome with a toddler. I can still go about town and breastfeed hands free in public. I can do it comfortably too. The hood allows for some extra coverage, although it would be cool if it were a bit wider. Unlike many other carriers, baby is body to body wth you. You can adjust the straps making baby sit lower, so breastfeeding upright in the carrier is super easy.
 
I have also continued to do layers with DD2. I hardly wear a nursing bra now. I use mostly nursing tanks or camis with no bras but stretch so I can pull down or up. I do not need much support, I am smaller breasted, we breastfeed often, and I do not leak much now (so I do not need to keep a nursing pad in place). If I do wear a bra, I prefer the stretchy pull aside cross front style. No snaps, clips, or buttons to deal with. I put a thin shirt on top in warmer months or a thicker one in colder ones. I wear my zip or button down sweater or jacket in really cold weather over the carrier or sling when really needed.
 
Now that I am more comfortable with NIP and it is also getting a lot warmer, I mostly just go with a nursing tank or cami. I pair that up with our carrier's hood and nobody really sees anything except a happy mommy and content toddler.
 
Mostly we get questions about our slings and carrier more than comments about our breastfeeding in public. Occasionally, a rude person will cast an ugly stare in restaurant or other place. I have learned to either ignore them or stare back, finally smiling, then looking down at my beautiful smiling child, and remembering that she is what really matters. I breastfeed for her, her wellness, her security, just for her. Breastfeeding is an affirmation of love and a gift I am thankful to give.
 

 
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~

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Day 1 at The Gym

I came home from my shortened trip to my grands and was disappointed the house had not changed in a week. Minus my portable dishwasher and convection oven sitting in the corner of the garage. (I knew it was silly to feel this way after such a short amount of time.) I was upset and did not know why I felt so unhappy with life, I was taking it out on my family by having such a down mood. We often hear that exercise can help alter one's mood. (I have a few studies I will be reading online.) I took a step forward and joined a gym.

This Monday was my first day. I went for an evening yoga class. I got there early to drop off my children in the childcare and fill out the necessary paperwork. When that was completed, I still had 20 minutes before class. It was a great time to get some cardio in. I found a machine towards the back of the gym where I could see the classroom. I wanted to make sure I paid attention to when the turbo kick class got out so I could get a space near the door for yoga. I like to be easily accessible in case my children need me and also be able to leave class without disturbing too many people.

The machine had the rotating foot "peddles" and stationary handles. One could adjust the tilt and resistance. I upped the resistance and lowered the tilt and was on my way. I did 15 minutes. For the first time in a long time I was sweating for a reason other than the temperature or running around the house like a crazy woman. It felt awesome.

When the other class was released I stood in line with the other potential yogis. I got the space in class I desired and awaited the beginning of the yoga class. We went through several warm ups and then a sequence, adding poses. Then came the pigeon....My right knee was not going to allow such a pose. So, I respectfully went into a child's pose until that segment was over. I tried but it really hurt way too much. As the teacher reminded us at the beginning of class, "Honor your injuries." I tried to honor mine. At the end of class, even with me bowing out of a segment and goofing on a few poses, I still felt good about the experience.

I had about 30 minutes remaining of "No Children" time. What was I going to do? The sauna, the sauna, the sauna. I sat in there for about 10 minutes and decided to leave before puking on the other people in there. I was sweating a great deal. Two days later, I can see a difference in my skin.

I am not sure how I feel about the childcare at this particular club. My oldest had to body guard DD2 from some unruly 5 year old boys. I wondered where the teachers were and what would happen if I only took DD2 with me at some point. Who would protect her from the kicks and aggressive pushing through? My children are not used to physical aggression, and really....Who's child should be used to physical aggression? I will have a talk with the teachers at the childcare on-site prior to going to work out. If that nonsense continues we will go to another club, no problem.

Overall, a good first time experience at the gym, I look forward to going next time.


Some links to the studies:

The effectiveness of exercise in the management of post-natal depression: systematic review and meta-analysis. (Daley 2009) http://search.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.apollolibrary.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=36926562&site=ehost-live

Get moving, fight toxins! Exercise for a cleansing rush. (Kennedy, 2010) http://search.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.apollolibrary.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=rzh&AN=2010607637&site=ehost-live

The role of nutrition in mental health. (Low Dog T, 2010) http://search.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.apollolibrary.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=rzh&AN=2010594842&site=ehost-live

Thursday, June 24, 2010

MamaFae's Knit Whits: Update to the Red Robin Breastfeeding Discrimination Story-This is GOOD!!

MamaFae's Knit Whits: Update to the Red Robin Breastfeeding Discrimination Story-This is GOOD!!

Here is what is going on now with the Kinnewick, WA Red Robin incident. A good move in the right direction, but I still will not be eating there until I know for sure they will be implementing these new practices.

Red Robin Response Re: Kennewick, WA incident and NIP

Red Robin


From: "guestrelations@redrobin.com" guestrelations@redrobin.com
Cc: guestrelations@redrobin.com
---------------------------------------------------------

Dear Tamara:

Thank you for your comments. We have been made aware of an incident involving a Red Robin guest who chose to breastfeed her infant while dining in our Kennewick, Wash., restaurant. While all of our restaurant managers are trained to treat our guests with respect, dignity and to always comply with the laws where we do business, unintentionally, a mistake was made by a member of our restaurant management team and, since then, we have been focusing on taking care of the guest involved and doing the right thing.
Since we were made aware of the incident, the general manager of our Kennewick restaurant has contacted the guest directly and apologized. Also, a representative of our corporate office has contacted the guest to apologize and to learn more about what happened so we can take steps to avoid a repeat of the incident, at our Kennewick restaurant and at all Red Robin locations. In addition, the local requirements related to accomodating public breastfeeding have been reinforced at our Kennewick restaurant, and we are taking steps to make sure the teams at all other Red Robin locations are reminded about the importance of complying with requirements related to public breastfeeding.
While we believe that this is an isolated incident, Red Robin is focusing on reaching out to our guest, and we will do what we can to prevent a repeat of this incident.

Thank you again for helping to bring this matter to our attention so we can work with our guest and our restaurant teams to make sure we are always treating our guests with the respect and service that they deserve.

Sincerely,
Jennifer
Red Robin Guest Relations

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Do Not Eat At Red Robin Restaurants

I LOVE and hate to jump on a boycott bandwagon. I wish people and businesses just did the right thing. Sometimes we just need to give a good push in the right direction.

Red Robin in Kennewick, WA discriminated against a breastfeeding mother. The manager requested her to cover up and even offered her a shirt. Washington protects breastfeeding mothers and their children to publicly breastfeed. When the woman contacted the corporate office, the manager was defended by Red Robin. Red Robin stated that the manager did not need to know the laws.

I completely disagree with Red Robin.

When I read the subsequent tweet:

"@faedemere If you want to express your concern to Red Robin for their discrimination of #breastfeeding moms go here! http://bit.ly/aFfQE5 "

I submitted a comment to Red Robin, the comment is below.

"I recently learned about a manager at the Kennewick, WA, Red Robin asking a mother to cover up while breastfeeding. I understand that her right to breastfeed in public is protected by Washington law. I currently reside in California, but I will not eat at a Red Robin until Red Robin makes it clear that the manager in question, including ALL MANAGERS - present and future, will either receive education on breastfeeding laws. In addition, Red Robin must publicly support breastfeeding in all of their restauraunts, whether covered or not wherever the mother and child wish to breastfeed. Until that time, I will promote the idea of not eating at Red Robin to everyone who will listen."

My comment was issued the confirmation number: 204161.

I know there is a typo, dang it, I had in there that they should fire that manager if she/he refused education on breastfeeding laws. I thought I should just leave that part out.

So, Red Robin now sits next to Nestle on my boycott list.

To read the law that protects breastfeeding in the state of Washington go here: http://www.breastfeedingwa.org/wa_leg

To submit a comment to Red Robin go here: http://www.redrobin.com/contactus/generalContact.aspx

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Stopped Up Bowels

DD2 has been sick since Sat evening with a runny nose (which is now subsiding) and to top it off she has not had a BM since Thursday. She was so fussy Saturday and Sunday nights, waking up almost every hour. I was exhausted come Monday, so when she was not even consolable by breastfeeding I called the pediatrician. We went in and she told us that DD2 was constipated but it was not that bad, so to give her a 1/4 a cap of a powdered laxative in 8 ounces of water or juice a day for 2-3 days. When she starts having soft / liquidy stools to stop giving it to her.

As of today, no BM. We are still waiting for her intenstines to empty out. I am worried about her poor litle body and the discomfort she is in.

Other recommendations the Doctor gave us were:

eat veggies and fruit
increase liquids
increase fibers
let DD2 sit on the toilet for at least 5 mins after each large meal of the day

(all of which we already do)

If nothing happens by tomorrow, it is back to the doctor's office.

Please wish us poo!

***Follow Up***
DD2 has been going quite regular now. She did not go for almost 5 days! Poor baby :(

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Chocolate Coconut Crimson Hemp Drop Cookies

I love hemp, chocolate, and oatmeal raisin cookies so I made these cookies today. It's sort of my own recipe that I pieced together from other recipes.



Ingredients:

1/2 C Butter
1/2 tsp Baking Soda
1/2 tsp Baking Powder
3/4 C White Sugar
2 tbs Dark Molasses
3/4 C of Hemp Plus Cereal
2 tbs Vanilla Rice Milk
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
1/2 C Shredded Coconut
1 C All Purpose Flour
1/4 tsp Salt
3 tbs Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
1/2 C Crimson Raisins
1/4 C Flax Seed Meal (Ground Flax Seed)


Preheat Oven to 375 degrees farenheit

Soften Butter and cream together butter, vanilla, sugar, and molasses.
Add the flour, baking soda, baking powder, hemp cereal, and rice milk. Fold them together until everything looks moist.
Add the salt, cocoa powder, raisins, and coconut. Again, fold together until everything looks moist.

Drop onto lightly greased cookie sheets and bake for about 8 minutes (+/-) at 375 degrees farenheit.

Remove let cool for a minute or two and remove to a cooling rack.

Enjoy with your favorite kind of milk, add to the side of some icecream, or grab as a healthy snack on the way out the door.

If anything these cookies are an interesting combo!

p.s. DD2 loved helping me mix and drop them on the cookie sheet :)

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A Different Way to Talk About Issues

I just do not understand how somebody gives up so easily without ever trying to take another step forward. Some hurdles one cannot get over without some kind of assist. Standing on the other side of the wall and complaining about it being too tall only to walk away from something beautiful on the other side is just plain lazy and giving into fear. Try to get past the obstacle, if the method one is using is ineffective then one should choose another tool. It is not in a Warrior's being to give up on a challenge.

One could say that change has happened on their part. Yes, change has happened and it is not a good feeling when it appears that the same effort to change has not been met by their counterparts. Even so, one cannot rely on the changes that one has made if they do not continue to progress one into the direction they would like to go. It bothers me when people say that they have done this and that, but what have you done? Instead, ask oneself what needs to be done. Do not just complain about the situation, offer solutions.

Solutions come from all kinds of places. It could be reading a book or some articles together. Following reading, the people involved should then discuss what they like or dislike about the material. Once that has been done then the parties could address what they would like to implement. I like consistency, so I appreciate when it is all written down. Everyone can see what is written and have involvement in making changes or defining what something means. Then to formalize it all an option is to create a contract. Everyone would know and understand what is expected and what would happen if those expectations were not met. I also believe that the contract should be revisited at least once a month. This meeting should be at a time and place that is accessible to all the parties involved. In smaller groups, this works so much better than something like a town meeting. It works especially well in a family, if people are all on board with the idea and are consistent with its implementation.

Involving people in the solutions is key to success. Giving others the power to resolve issues and offer solutions makes it so the feeling of helplessness is not a major factor in decision making. I take pleasure in honesty. When honesty hurts I cry, when I am upset I cry, but when I feel like I am involved and people are trying to come to a positive place then I may cry but I feel empowered. Empowerment means less anger, less frustration.

I implore you to look for tools before deciding a challenge is not worth taking. People can overcome many challenges, but what we most often fail at are challenges that will further our relationships with people we expect to "just get it right." If expecting is not doing it for you, then create something everyone can rely on, do not just give up on those people you once held dear in your heart.

As my dear friend recently reminded me of my favorite quote, "We must be the change we wish to see in this World. - Ghandi" I reflect on my personal mis-doings. I have hurt so many and little have I chosen a path that I know will be successful. When will I, when will you, be the change we want to see in this world. Take charge of your destiny. If you love someone, maybe the best thing is not to always let the bird fly free, maybe it is to create a more loving place for the bird to spend time with you.

I apologize for hurting others that I care about. I love you and I want to embrace your shortfalls next to mine.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Our Experience: Extended Breastfeeding and Healthcare Providers

Yesterday, DD2 had a high temperature and required a visit to the pediatrician. I realized that with all the information out there about breastfeeding many healthcare providers are still ignorant to the facts. How do we get that information to them? I worry that their discouraging words could scare women, with less support or knowledge, from breastfeeding. The last thing our sisterhood needs are women attacking eachother.

We went to the pediatrician, mostly to humor our pediatrician. She had previously told us that if DD2 ever had a high fever then we should come in because she has not had her immunizations. With the onset of a 102 degrees farenheit temperature, I called the doctor's office. Her regular pediatrician, who is not pushy but informative, was out of town. We were told to come in and see the other woman in the office. They "squeezed" us in. Squeezing us in actually meant sitting in the waiting room for 45 minutes, then sitting in the examination room for another 30+ minutes. With a fussy, tired, hot toddler not a horrible experience but definately not a great one. Luckily, I brought my breasts.

When the pediatrician came in, we were breastfeeding. DD2 was sitting on the examination table and I was standing in front of her breastfeeding in the upright position. DD2 stopped breastfeeding and I reclipped my nursing tank. The first thing the doctor asks is "Are you her mother?" I almost asked, would I be breastfeeding if I were not? Then I remembered that it could be possible that somebody has a wet-nurse who breastfeeds their toddler and takes them to the doctor with their older sibling, or maybe she did not notice the breastfeeding. It could happen, so I refrained from shooting an attitude in her direction and simply answered, "Yes." We went through the typical questions. When she asked if DD2 was getting enough fluids I answered that she had been drinking water and juice and was still breastfeeding, so I was pretty sure she was hydrated. She asked the then typical questions about the extent of breastfeeding. She was amazed that DD2 breastfed so often and through the night. Then like every other doctor or dentist she told me about tooth decay...I agreed (even though I know it is a case by case scenario) and showed her DD2's teeth. I told her we were working on night time weaning, but that it has been hard and that DD2 will cry for hours if I let her. She said, "Well that's weaning." I was starting to really not like this woman.  After the examination, DD2 was fairly upset about being undressed probed and redressed, so we breastfed. The doctor looked up from the charts and said "Wow, she is actually breastfeeding." Umm, what does that mean? Really, weird. I felt the doctor's discomfort at seeing us breastfeed. Then of course I got the talk about the risks of not immunizing and that we would need to have DD2's blood drawn and get a urine sample since there were no other factors such as a rash or vomiting. I reminded the doctor that DD2 has never been sick before (beyond a runny nose once last year). DD2 has never had antibiotics. She is a really healthy kid. After that "great and supportive" experience we went to the lab to get DD2's blood drawn. She was a complete champ, did not freak out or cry. Fearless Dad would have been extremely proud had he been there.

It struck me that this woman, with a degree in medicine, was clearly not educated on the normal aspects of raising a child. What is not normal is giving a child dead cows milk to replace living human milk. What is not normal is injecting a child with dead viruses, bacteria, and other stabilizers. These things weaken our children's natural ability to connect and live within the world around them. My breast milk is full of antibodies, easily consumed proteins, and changes to my child's needs. My breastmilk, does not have an acceptable amount of rat hair in it either.

The truth of the matter is, putting manufactured stuff into a devolping body is scary for me. I do not trust our standards in the USA for food and medicine. I have read about the horrible things that formula has caused in other countries less fortunate than the USA and seen how it sabotages breastfeeding relationships in the USA. I have read about the risks immediately after an innoculation and the risks years later. With the hype of new viruses and immunizations, I am continuously reminded that our government is funded by corporate money. There is a thin line between doing what is best for the majority of the population and what is best for those that keep us running.

So, how do I get the information that supports breastfeeding to a doctor's office that is clearly not baby friendly? Should I send them a packet of information, Email them a hazards of not breastfeeding slide show from my CLEC class? I took a little pleasure in giving the doctor a little shock factor. Our family is one of the very few in the USA who continue to breastfeed past 6 months, let alone the first year.

We are not ready to wean, we are not even ready for night time weaning. If we were ready then DD2 would not want to breastfeed anymore. She needs the breast for whatever reason she cannot truely explain with her limited vocabulary, but I see that it comforts her and she loves me for sharing my breast milk with her. We can deal with some tooth decay, some minor dental work, scared doctors, unsure spouses and in-laws, but how many other women would continue to breastfeed when it seems like everyone in their community wants them to stop?

**Note: Part of DD2's blood work came back and her white blood cells are normal, so, probably just a virus we are dealing with.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

A Few Steps Forward

Life does not come pre-packaged with easy to follow instructions. I have failed in many aspects of being a good friend to myself and to others. For years, I have lamented in personal growth only to find myself staring at the same failures over and over again. Once again, I have decided to take a step back in order to be able to move forward in my emotional growth. It is time to re-evaluate my path.

This blog entry is dedicated to a few steps in the right direction towards better emotional health.

One of the steps I have chosen to take, an old time somewhat reliable method, is to return to counseling. It is not because I am crazy. It is because it will give me a place to share my feelings under the guidance of a trained professional. I need to personally figure out why I keep falling back into unhealthy emotional habits and finally grow out of this stage of life. I am an adult, dang it.

Another thing I have chosen to do for myself is to attend some local meetings. One of the meetings is a La Leche League (LLL) meeting. It would be nice to have a group of women I can come face to face with and find support. Issues around partner support and resentment of extended breasfeeding and personally supporting the secure independence of DD2 are some of my concerns. Another type of meeting I would like to go to is a co-dependents anonymous meeting. I am not defining myself as a co-dependent, I would just like to explore different support networks.

I am going to make an effort to get out of the house more. I get so wound up in household tasks, taking care of DD2, schoolwork, etc, that I hardly ever get out. Some places I would like to visit more are the farmer's market, library at storytime, local parks & beaches....

I am also lacking in my knowledge of what it takes to be a military spouse. Not much can prepare one for the stresses of an Army lifestyle or a spouse that is definately not an underachiever. Thus, I have started exploring daily the online resources that Military One Source has available. I am amazed at the abundance of information they have out there.

Every night I have decided to write 5 things that I feel gratitude for having or experiencing. When I do so, I will try to feel the gratitude and let it fill me up. I will do this for at least a month since most habits take a month to form. Maybe each morning after will seem a bit more bright and welcoming.

I want to be a good friend, move away from past issues, look forward to tomorrow, be secure in my self and my relationship, and show my children that people are capable of growing.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Response to Dr. Hale's take on Hemp Seed Oil and Breastfeeding

I was casually going down the list on Dr. Tom Hale's forum on herbal remedies and lactation, clicking on anything that caught my attention. First off, Dr. Hale gives some good information, yet some of it seems to be forced and leaves one with a negative feeling. On many of the responses Dr. Hale states that there are no reasons to take certain herbal remedies or that the mother should find another alternative without stating legit data to support his answer.

One such thread is as follows and is copied and pasted directly from here: http://neonatal.ttuhsc.edu/discus/messages/50/169693.html?1239219644

Question

"Lllmojca posted on Wednesday, April 08, 2009 - 05:21 am
A mother is asking if it's safe to regularly use hemp seed oil while breastfeeding.
There's a lot of advertising about hemp being a superfood.
I also noticed reservations regarding possible THC in those oils, althow many experts claim there's absolutelly no TCH in modern products.
Is it safe to use?

Thx! "

Answer

"Tom posted on Wednesday, April 08, 2009 - 02:40 pm

LLLmojca:

As for the safety of hemp seed oil, no one really knows for sure if it is safe during breastfeeding, much less worth taking in the first place.
In these cases I suggest to mom to simply not take these herbal preparations unless someone can prove they are safe.
Sorry.

Tom Hale Ph.D."

My Response:

Without adding or researching completely, I can tell you that Dr. Hale's response is invalid. There is plenty of information about the health benefits of using Industrial Hemp Seed Oil, both internally and topically. There is little to no THC in hemp seed oil. Although, Industrial Hemp is related to the stigmatized medicinal plant it has very low amounts of THC in the seed and flower. Industrial Hemp is the plant grown in most of the world for hemp seed and fiber. If you use the common Hemp oil on the market today there is little to no chance one would be able to find  measurable amounts of THC. Therefore, I would say, with no medical background, that there is no risk of taking Hemp Oil as a dietary supplement when in combination with other sources of Omegas. It is high in Omega 3,6,9 and actually could benefit a pregnant or breastfeeding mother.

The Hemp Industries Association (HIA) is a wonderful source to explore.

Dr. Mercola shares his take on the importance of Omega 3's.


Monday, February 15, 2010

Pregnancy and Birth: Third Time is a Charm

Goals for Pregnancy:
  • Daily walk and/or Bike Ride
  • Whole Food Prenatal Vitamins and Omegas Every Day
  • Drink 10-12 cups of Water Every Day
  • Spirulina / Fruit / Yogurt Smoothies :)
  • Probiotics
  • Prenatal Yoga in the Morning before DD2 wakes up
  • Cut Down Coffee / Caffeine to 4oz a day or less
  • Take Professional Pregnancy Photo
  • Take a Belly photo every week <3
  • Henna the Belly
  • Make a Belly Cast
  • Keep a Pregnancy Journal
  • Get a Midwife
  • Plan on Homebirth
Goals for Birth:
  • No Interventions / Natural Birth
  • At Home in Birthing Pool
  • Video Tape Birth (I want to watch it, darn it!)
  • Midwife or Doula to assist with Birth
  • DH to be present and hold me in pool when wanted
  • DD1 to hang out with DD2 and be involved as much as she wants :)
  • Breastfeed as soon as possible
  • Bank Cord Blood or Donate if possible
  • Save Placenta for Placenta Pills or bury it under a tree :)
This is the the list of personal goals thus far...

And of course a Healthy Baby is the ultimate goal to reach for!

Someone's awesome prego belly!
Borrowed picture from: www.flickr.com/photos/hennalounge/1287522705/

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

UpCycle Old Crayons

I was searching online for something crafty to do with the kids for Valentine's Day. I came across this crayon heart project at Disney's Family Fun website.

First step was to find something heart shaped we could melt our old crayons in. I found a mini heart shaped muffin tin on ebay for about $10 including S&H. It showed up on Monday, which was perfect because DD1 had the day off from school for Lincoln's Birthday.

We gathered up old crayons and the grrls started peeling the papers off the crayons, while I cut some off with a box cutter. I later read in the project comments that you could soak the crayons to get the paper off easier.

While peeling the crayons, we preheated our oven to 250 degrees farenheit.

We broke the bigger pieces of the crayons up and put them into the heart shaped compartments. We used all kinds of crayons and any colors. DD1 decided she would color scheme some and created special masterpieces for her personal collection.




When we filled up our first batch we put them in the oven for about 10 minutes. When it was time to pull the tray out I realized that this may be a task. Hot melted wax and goofy big oven mitts, not really a precise grab. If I was one for reading directions I would have noticed that the original site suggested putting the tray on top of a cookie sheet. Even so, we escaped any catastrophes that could have happened with the first batch.



I noticed the colors were not chunky like the example pictures on the site. They were more like tie dye swirls. It could have been the cheap wax from some of the restaraunt and off brand crayons or that we heated them too long, but the end result was beautiful.

We made three batches, totally 36 crayons for DD1s class. Since, they are not celebrating Valentine's Day in class we are leaving off the paper portion of the craft. Instead, she will be sharing heart crayons with her class and possibly inspiring others to re-use their old crayons.



The muffin tin will most likely only be used for melting wax in. Even with the cookie tray to help stabilize, we spilled some wax. Also, if you leave the wax in the oven for more than 10 minutes, clear wax may separate and create an opaque layer on what would be the bottom of the crayon. It also could have had something to do with the glitter crayons that were in this batch. Only more experimentation will tell.

I suggest trying out this project in your home. We had some great variations with glitter crayons, I could see us trying out other variables, temperature, and timing. It also offers a chance to discuss convection currents as you can see the waxy colors rising and falling once you remove them from the oven.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

DIY: Medicine

Here are a few simple recipes to making medicine for common ailments.

Conjunctivitis / Pink Eye : Seep some fresh ginger in hot water, take warm washcloth and wipe eye, wash hands frequently. Ginger acts as an antiseptic. If you have breastmilk, putting a few drops in the eye may also help. Breastmilk has a lot of antibodies and holds many healing properties.


Ear Ache : Infuse some olive oil with garlic, make sure it is not too hot, drip a few drops in affected ear, cover with a cotton ball. Olive oil coats the ear, garlic acts as an antiseptic.


Sore Throat : Slice some onion, stick in glass jar, put in some sugar, place in fridge. Sugar will draw out onion juice and the juice and sugar will create a syrup. You can take a spoonful when needed.



Immune Support : Put some honey and garlic in a jar, take a spoonful when needed.




**If Conditions Persist or Worsen, Contact a Doctor - These are just suggestions from what we use in our own home.**

Monday, February 1, 2010

Helping Haiti is as Easy as Texting


When the earthquake hit Haiti, my heart sank. Every time something of this magnitude affects our Earth my heart aches. Many people say the best way to help is to help those organizations that are already helping Haiti. Our society has a dependence on technology and most are more likely to help another if it is made easy for them. While paying my verizon bill I came across a page that lists organizations you can text to donate money to. And another realization hit me while reading the list, the charge for a download I just sent an email to Verizon disputing could very well be the $10 donation to Red Cross. Ooops, but maybe they should list charges on our bills as they are.

http://news.vzw.com/HaitiInfo.html

Text the word “Yele” to 501501 to donate $5


Text the word “Yele10” or “YeleTen” to 501501 to donate $10

On behalf of the YĆ©le Foundation, the leading contributor to rebuilding Haiti founded by Wyclef Jean



Text the word “QUAKE” to 20222 to donate $10

On behalf of the Clinton Bush Haiti Fund



Text the word “Haiti” to 20222 to donate $10

On behalf of the Clinton Foundation Haiti Relief Fund



Text the word “Haiti” to 52000 to donate $10

On behalf of the Salvation Army



Text the word “Hope10” or “UNICEF” to 20222 to donate $10

On behalf of UNICEF



Text the word “Haiti” to 40579 to donate $10

On behalf of the National Religious Broadcasters (NRB)



Text the word “Save” or “Safe” to 20222 to donate $10

On behalf of Save the Children Federation, Inc.



Text the word “Give” or “World” to 20222 to donate $10

On behalf of World Vision Inc.



Text the word “Haiti” to 85944 to donate $10

On behalf of the International Medical Corps



Text the word “Haiti” to 25383 to donate $5

On behalf of the International Rescue Committee



Text the word “Oxfam” to 25383 to donate $10

On behalf of Oxfam America, Inc.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Corporal Punishment: Necessity or Abuse of Power

Written for an Art and Science of Teaching Class
--------------------------------

"Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."

The Bible, Proverbs 23:14.

"I disapprove of flogging, although it is the regular custom... because in the first place it is a disgraceful form of punishment and fit only for slaves, and is in any case an insult, as you will realize if you imagine its infliction at a later age. Secondly if a boy is so insensible to instruction that reproof is useless, he will, like the worst type of slave, merely become hardened to blows... And though you may compel a child with blows, what are you to do with him when he is a young man no longer amenable to such threats and confronted with tasks of far greater difficulty? Moreover when children are beaten, pain or fear frequently have results of which it is not pleasant to speak and which are likely subsequently to be a source of shame, a shame which unnerves and depresses the mind and leads the child to shun and loathe the light....I will not linger on this subject; it is more than enough if I have made my meaning clear. I will content myself with saying that children are helpless and easily victimized, and that therefore no one should be given unlimited power over them."

Quintilian (circa 35 - 95 CE) from his "Institutes of Oratory."



Corporal punishment has been a topic of debate most likely since the beginning of recorded time. Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia (2009) defines corporal punishment as “physical chastisement of an offender.” Twenty-one states allow the use of corporal punishment on students. Proponents of this disciplinary action in schools are not in the majority of public and specialized opinion. The history of corporal punishment lingers in the past of slavery, acceptance of intimate partner violence, and pushes into the future of reliance on force to win power over others.

Corporal punishment treads a thin line between abuse and effective disciplinary action. According to Kauchak and Eggen (2005), in 1977 the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that corporal punishment in schools does not violate the Eighth Amendment to the Constitution, prohibiting cruel and unusual punishment. “The Court further ruled that states may authorize corporal punishment without prior hearing and without the prior permission of parents (Ingraham v. Wright, 1977).” The punishment should be used to correct behavior, not leave lasting injury, or be done out of anger, and may not be cruel or excessive. Each state has specific guidelines to what can be used to hit the child and how often a child may be hit in one session at school. One thing is clear about corporal punishment, if used, it should be used as a last resort.

Many people are against the corporal punishment of children in schools. The U.S. Department of Education Office for Civil Rights (OCR) released statistics for the 2006-07 breaking down data for corporal punishment by race and sex. The OCR found that 78% of the 223,190 students who received corporal punishment were male (Darden, 2009). After the OCR released these statistics, the Human Rights Watch and the American Civil Liberties Union did a study finding that minority and disabled students are disproportionately physically punished in schools (American School Board Journal, 2008). The states that allow corporal punishment are mostly in the south. Yet, excessive punishment can be seen anywhere in which violence is allowed. The following case exhibits just one instance of the line being overstepped.

“In one Pennsylvania elementary school, a 36 year-old, 6-foot-tall, 210-pound school principal paddled a 45-pound first-grade boy four different times during a school day for a total of 60 to 70 swats. After the incident the boy needed psychological counseling, cried frequently, and had nightmares and trouble sleeping. (Commonwealth of Pennsylvania v. Douglass, 1991)” (Kauchak & Eggen, 2005, p. 335).

Many in the United States want to see an end to this form of disciplinary action. It is too easy to overstep the boundaries of cruel and excessive punishment, especially if the local government and school district do not clearly define what is acceptable. It is also unclear if there is anything positive that results from corporal punishment, besides an immediate halt of specific behavior.

Corporal Punishment is an outdated form of disciplinary action that should be eliminated from the educational system. As a person who grew up in California, which banned corporal punishment in the 80s, I was shocked to find that children were still being paddled in school. I heard rumors while growing up of children in catholic school being hit on the knuckles with a ruler and was relieved that I was in public school protected from such horrifying events. It was bad enough I had to survive home life, adolescence, and societal pressures. What is even more shocking is that while we lived in North Carolina, I was completely unaware of the school's ability to administer corporal punishment on my own child. None of the student parent handbooks I read ever mentioned this. Corporal punishment has a lingering sentiment of religion to me. It reeks of God's ancient vengeance, and in doing so, reminds me of how Religion and State are meant to be separate in the United States. I completely understand that many Christians have a more peaceful stance on modern day society, yet for some reason the controlling and demeaning aspects of the Christian religion continue to affect our children. In addition, states continue to allow a form of disciplinary action that has no proven positive effect on our children. As a teacher, I would not use corporal punishment on my students, even if it were allowed or encouraged. I would not be able to make a clear differentiation between anger and violence and hitting for punishment. I choose not to perpetuate violence on our children.

Until we ban corporal punishment from all schools, whether or not one is for or against corporal punishment, we need to be clearly define boundaries for teachers and administrators to adhere to. Teachers nationwide are held accountable for their teaching methods. It may be reasonable to include students' emotional and physical well being into the whole picture of student success and teacher accountability. If we did so, we may see that corporal punishment causes more harm than good and move more quickly away from using it in the classroom. We all deserve to be treated equally under the law and as human beings with the ability to learn lessons and practice compassion.

References

(2009). Child Development. Work-Life Newsbrief & Trend Report, 5-6. Retrieved from Business Source Complete database.

(2009). Corporal punishment. Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia, 6th Edition, 1. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.

(2008). Corporal punishment still popular in many schools. American School Board Journal, 195(10), 7. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.

Darden, E. (2009). The Paddle Problem. American School Board Journal, 196(1), 39-40. Retrieved from Academic Search Complete database.

Kauchak, D., & Eggen, P. (2005). Introduction to Teaching: Becoming a Professional, 2e. Retrieved from University of Phoenix.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Curiosity in Action: My Teaching Philosophy

This was recently written for a class....

Becoming an elementary school teacher requires evaluating ones own educational philosophies constantly over the course of ones career. Being a teacher is a huge responsibility to the children we have in our class and to the communities we let the children fly free in. Our task as teachers should be to inspire creativity and encourage children to take an active interest in the world around them. We must remember that these children will grow up to be our future leaders. Teachers should help students learn the tools they will need to be successful in society.

Teaching is about inspiring others and learning about oneself in the process. To inspire learning in children it is important to offer opportunities for the students to lead their learning. These opportunities should include creative and hands-on activities in which students can explore real-world knowledge and put them into action. Fostering community involvement and civic duty in early years will support students in developing a sense of themselves in their community and help them to be more responsible in their actions. As teachers, we can learn from our students what is important to them and guide them in positive directions.

Students have an innate curiosity that we as teachers should embrace. Students want to have fun during learning, many students would rather be working on projects, experiments, and other activities than listen to a teacher stand in front of the class and lecture. Students are more interested in their learning if they can be allowed to participate in the subject matter they are studying. Students are more productive if they are fed, rested, and relaxed. Students believe they are successful when they can see that their work is appreciated and are given opportunities to share what they enjoy about their work. Students can help teach others by exhibiting their knowledge.

Knowledge changes with time. We gain knowledge from others and from trial and error. People who are given opportunities to explore other world views will have a better understanding of their own perspective and learn to respect other views. Community, religion, ethnicity, and the resources available influence ones knowledge. Knowledge is not best put to use to control others but to guide ones way of life and ones own interaction with the world around oneself.

Exposing our minds to many ideas and different ways of thinking is important. When this is done, students have a better chance of utilizing critical thinking skills. Students can explore the various aspects of environmental and social justice issues. These concepts can be integrated into science, math, social studies, english, music, and art. Students will be better able to understand the world around them and the people in this world. It would also do our students good to explore back to basics, like identifying local edible plants, land navigation, simple recipes, homeopathic natural remedies, creating by hand, and survival techniques.

The future of the planet is of immense concern to me. I learned as an undergraduate that one is more effective in making change if one can dedicate themselves to a cause and can see more positive change if they work locally. My educational philosophy stems from the core of act locally and think globally. I want students to explore the beauty of community through student-based action. It is never too early to introduce ideas of compassion, action, and responsibility. Projects the children could get involved with are a community garden, reading programs with elders and peers, the local food bank, murals, organizations that help the house-less, coastal cleanups, and park beautification days. I believe that even with structure given by the federal, state, and local government on what curriculum should be taught, there are many roads to reaching the same foundations. As a teacher the ideas of my students should be integrated into lessons. In doing this, I will keep on learning and also encourage the children to care more about school and the world around them. Round table discussions and constant feedback are better at assessing my students success than standardized testing. Even so, I think that students should be able to perform on standardized testing. Equipping children with the tools on how to comply with the requirements set forth by the government is also very important. The educational philosophies that I most relate to are Progressivism and Postmodernism. Labaree (2005) states about pedagogical Progressivism or constructivism:

“It means basing instruction on the needs, interests and developmental stage of the child; it means teaching students the skills they need in order to learn any subject, instead of focusing on transmitting a particular subject; it means promoting discovery and self-directed learning by the student through active engagement; it means having students work on projects that express student purposes and that integrate the disciplines around socially relevant themes; and it means promoting values of community, cooperation, tolerance, justice and democratic equality.”

In addition to being active in one's community it is important to examine how our society has come to have certain issues. When discussing these topics teachers can take into account age appropriateness as well as to the depth in which the students are interested. In the text Introduction to Teaching the authors define, on page 221, Postmodernism as “an educational philosophy that contends that many of the institutions in our society, including schools, are used by those in power to control and marginalize those who lack power.” (Kauchak and Eggen 2005) In honor of the people of our past and present I think it is important to have resources available to the students which let them learn about the struggles of such people as Emma Goldman, Martin Luther King Jr, Frida Kahlo, Mahatma Gandhi, Julia Butterfly, Cesar Chavez, and many more.

I want nothing more than to influence positive change in this world. My philosophies as a teacher will evolve over time. One of my goals is to continue to grow and change with the needs of the students and society. Children deserve the chance to learn in an environment that fosters their natural curiosity and gives them a voice when, in fact, they may not have much of one anywhere else. What we do does matter and the future leaders need to know that they can be a part of positive change in their communities.
 
References:
 
Karen L Anderson, Dean M Martin, & Ellen E Faszewski. (2006). Unlocking the Power of Observation. Science and Children, 44(1), 32-35. Retrieved January 18, 2010, from ProQuest Education Journals. (Document ID: 1124970581).


Labaree, D. (2005). Progressivism, schools and schools of education: An American romance. Paedagogica Historica, 41(1/2), 275-288. doi:10.1080/0030923042000335583.

EBOOK COLLECTION: Kauchak, P. & Eggen, P. (2005). Introduction to teaching: Becoming a professional (2nd ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Keep Your Baby Close to Your Heart

I am a big supporter of wearing your baby. We love Ergo Baby Carrier Products, especially their organic line which shows their dedication to environmental stewardship. Until January 22nd Midnight (CST) Le Petit Owlet is giving away an Ergo Baby Carrier. Check out the product review and giveaway at: http://www.lepetitowlet.com/2010/01/ergobaby-organics-review-giveaway.html


Tuesday, January 5, 2010

This is the way we brush our teeth, brush our teeth...

DD2 (Dear Daughter Age 2) had her first dentist visit today.

Before I continue, let me just say that I tried to have her see a dentist in Oregon, but the office in town did not see children until they are 3 years old. When we moved back to Southern California I decided to see if a local pediatric dentist would see her. DD2 has chips on her two front teeth due to falling at around 11 months when she was learning to toddle. I noticed a few months ago that there was some browning behind them. I tried to focus our teeth brushing in that area, so I did not think it was that bad. In addition, I already had a bad feeling about the dentist since they disliked that I was still breastfeeding when I made the appointment.

When we arrived at the office, which was hard to find even with their printed out directions, the receptionist used the high pitch baby talk voice with me. I laughed under my breath due to the rediculous nature of being spoken to that way, especially when I was annoyed with their choice of location. When we were called back, a nice hygenist lead us back. She took a picture of DD2 for their records, let DD2 pick out a toothbrush, and a toothbrush cover. She asked DD2 to sit in the chair. So far, so good. Once she put the bib around her neck, DD2 started crying. I got to lay underneath DD2 while the woman looked at her teeth, cleaned them, and rubbed flouride on them. The hygenist said she needed to take xrays of the 2 front teeth since they were decaying. I held DD2 with the cover over both of us and the woman stuck something in DD2's mouth and took the xray. It popped up on the screen and a dentist came in and quickly looked at it. We went back to the chair and waited for the dentist to come look at DD2's teeth. We again had to lay down and DD2 was fed up with all the items being stuck in her mouth. I guess the dentist was able to get a good enough look. He said that they would have to make another appointment to clean out the teeth and cap them. That if they did not do this then there was a chance they could get infected and need to be pulled out. He said the decay was in the living part deep in the teeth. The dentist also said they would have to sedate her to do the procedure and she could not eat or drink for 6 hours prior. I immediately thought, he can not mean breastfeeding, so I asked. No breastfeeding either, DD2 could throw up and get it in her lungs which could be fatal. Then we had to weigh DD2 to see how much sedative my little one could handle.

When we were done DD2 picked out a toy and we walked to the front counter. The receptionist went over the billing and information for the procedure. In addition to the costly procedure and sedative, they want to use a restraining device on DD2 and I cannot even be in the room with her. I got seriously pissed. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" I wanted to scream at the woman. My tone changed completely with her and I was ready to go. She asked me if they had done anything wrong. I told her it was not her, it was that I had never drugged my child nor restrained her. I then asked her if this is what other dentists would do? She said that this was a pediatric dentist office and this is what they do. I told her that it seemed like it would be traumatizing to DD2. She said the sedative was to help it not be traumatizing. I let her know I understood what they wanted to do with DD2, sedate, restrain, scrape, and cap. I walked to the door and said goodbye.

I immediately wanted to get a second opinion when hitting the fresh air of Southern California. I came home talked to DH (Dear Husband), he wanted me to wait until he was able to be there with us. I also went to my twitter support, who also said to get a second opinion.

I called the insurance company, so, now all I have to do is find another pediatric dentist and see what they say.

In addition, to all of the trauma DD2 may be facing, I feel so guilty. I know I should not hold myself fully responsible for her teeth. But I am responsible and my heart aches out of an overwhelming guilt I cannot seem to shake.