Friday, July 30, 2010

She Will Let Me Know

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!



This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com/. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about child-led weaning. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

  I still hold onto guilt for making my first child wean, even though she was 2 1/2 years old. It was forced, upsetting, trying, and stressful. I felt like I was breaking her heart and it was killing me. I am not quite sure why I gave into what everyone was telling me or feeling like I just could not do it anymore. When my second child was conceived I was determined to be a stronger mother for her.

During my second pregnancy, I read about breastfeeding in my la leche league book, talked about it online, and remembered my experiences with my first child. I did not quite decide to do child lead weaning until DD2 was about 2 years old. I just kept making small goals like making it to 6 months, then a year, then a year and a half and so on. I even tried night weaning because of her front teeth being more susceptible to tooth decay. I could not go through with it. She just kept crying and nothing would console her. With family, doctors, dentists all telling me I needed to wean at a little over 2 years old, I just started responding with "We are doing child led weaning." "WHO recommends breastfeeding until at least 2 years old." "She will let me know when she is ready to stop." Every couple of months it seems I need to reassure people in our lives that we are still doing child led weaning and she will let me know when she doesn't want to breastfeed anymore.

I have noticed that DD2 feeds less often. She is more into playing with her older sister and neighbors. She wants to play pretend and change 20 times a day into another outfit. She stays busy. Even so, it is comforting for her to wake up and go to sleep with some num time. It is the first thing she asks for when she gets hurt or upset. It is her "blankey," and it is so awesome to be able to provide her with a stable source of comfort and get to have some time for just her and me. I cannot say that breastfeeding for this long has not put stresses on different parts of my life, but I do not nurse for my benefit (although there are multiple benefits for me).

One of my jobs as a parent is to make sure that my child is secure in her place in this world. Breastfeeding offers her security in a time of metamorphosis from baby to child. I will continue to offer her the security she needs. I let her ask for num and most often I let her tell me when she is finished with a session.

Another task as a parent is to make sure she is well nourished. There is nothing made better for human consumption than human milk. I feel confident in my breast milk. DD2 has rarely been sick. She has never had antibiotics, she is not immunized. She is always in the top percentile for her size. It supplements her picky diet as a toddler. It keeps her hydrated.

Maybe another part of choosing child led weaning is that it is out of the "norm" for United States statistics. I want our breastfeeding relationship to set a positive example for people in our lives. Breastfeeding is normal and it is good. I am tired of people being weirded out by something my breasts were meant to do. Maybe more people will see that what we have is good and be more supportive to breastfeeding relationships in the future.

She will let me know when she is done breastfeeding. It will be on her terms.




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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Wordless Wednesday: DD2 Breastfeeding Photos



Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!


This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to http://www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com/. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is Wordless Wednesday: Breastfeeding Photos! Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!















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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I Remember A Baby Friendly Workplace

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to http://www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com/. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about breastfeeding and employment. Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

With my first child I worked and went to school while breastfeeding. I had two jobs that were very accomodating to breastfeeding. One job was with a youth-run childcare through an organization that helped teens be more involved in the community. The other job was helping out at a gently used and new maternity, nursing, and children's store. I wish there were more employers that were supportive of breastfeeding or bringing children to work with you.

The first real job I had outside of yard work and babysitting for people was being an administrative assistant at a youth-run childcare for toddlers. We worked out of the child development class at one of the high schools in the town I grew up in. A group of teenagers, whom later became my good friends, put together an after-school drop-in childcare that they ran which was also managed by a teacher who had major experience in early childhood education. We had a 1:2 ratio which is super awesome. They allowed me to bring my baby in while I did paperwork and created a newsletter for them. In addition, DD1 got to play with the other children as she got older and I helped out with watching the children. I breasfed her freely. This particular experience helped me be a better parent in many ways in addition to feeling secure about my choice to breastfeed.

The next job I had that was breasfeeding friendly was at a second-hand store, which also houses the largest selection of nursing bras in probably all of North America. The store owner let me take nursing breaks whenever I had DD1 with me. Here I learned about various pumps, bra fitting, baby wearing, maternity and nursing clothing...You name it, I learned it there most likely. They had a play area and a book section with a rocking chair. If a mother wanted more privacy she could sit in a dressing room. We had disposable nursing pads in the dressing rooms too. Parents would freely let their children roam through the toys and books while they looked through clothing and accessories, or picked out a few bras. We would hold babies, entertain toddlers, and help find the perfect gifts. The saddest thing I did was move away for college.

I have not found a job as welcoming to babies and breastfeeding as those early experiences I was lucky to have. If I ever get to have my own business, I know that I will implement a baby / breastfeeding friendly environment for customers and employees.




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Monday, July 19, 2010

NIP a Lil Giant, How We Do It

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival! 




This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to http://www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com/. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about baby friendly communities. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!
 
Nursing in public has been a difficult personal battle. On one hand, I want to be a positive role model for other breastfeeding moms and feed my children whenever they need it. On the other, I am fearful of how the community I am in at the time will react to me breastfeeding or nursing in public (NIP).
 
We have lived in many different places and I have breastfed  in public in many different circumstances. Some of the steps I have taken to make it easier to have a successful public breastfeeding experience are, ditching the cover, using a sling or carrier, wearing layers, and ignoring the weird glances.
 
With my first child, I read all the parenting books I could get my hands on. I was a teenage mother. I was wholeheartidly going to breastfeed. I did not have money for nursing clothing, I had 2 nursing bras, some hand me down re-useable cotton nursing pads, my pre-baby clothing and my boyfriend's closet. I tried using a cover and was successful some times. Even so, usually it took so long to get the cover, a receiving blanket, correctly positioned so none of my flesh was exposed and I could still see my baby that she was so upset her crying drew the attention of people nearby more than me breastfeeding. Eventually, I ditched the cover. I started layering my tanks over my nursing bras with some button down shirts I borrowed from my boyfriend. NIP became so much easier. Unclip the bra, unbutton the top few buttons, pull up the tank, it was so much easier and baby cried less.
 
Recently I learned that if we wait until the baby is crying to breastfeed them, then it is already too late. When they start crying their tongues retract and it is harder to get a good latch, that is probably one reason why my nipples were so sore and scabbing those first 2 months. Instead, we should watch for their hunger cues, such as them licking their lips, moving around their arms and legs, putting their hands to their mouths, etc. This is when we should breastfeed them for a more successful breastfeeding experience.
 
As my first got older, I learned about slings and oh how I wished I had one when she was younger! For my second child, years later, that is one of the first things I bought for her. I found used slings on craigslist, for about 1/3 the cost of them new. I got two ring slings. I wanted to be able to adjust how closely I carried the baby over the time of her rapid growth. I never left the house without a sling. She was such a long baby I did not feel really comfortable with the cradle position and her legs tucked into the sling, either did she. We did a lot of upright time in the sling and cradle time with her legs hanging out to the side. It might have looked funny with a baby's legs hanging out on my side, but I did so much NIP with no comments on me "whipping it out", no weird looks at me for breastfeeding it was awesome. I highly recommend a sling especially for the first year and a half. I walked around stores breastfeeding hands free while pushing a cart. Just take safety precautions and make sure the baby has space to breath and their heads are not tucked downward making it harder to get enough air. 
 
As DD2 got older I needed something that would help disperse her weight more evenly but allow for us to breastfeed while I carried her. I found the ergo baby carrier. It seemed like exactly what we needed. There were not that many locally for sale online that were used. I started bidding on ebay and then a friend found out I wanted one and bought me one that was on sale through amazon. I cannot speak on using an ergo with an infant, but it has been awesome with a toddler. I can still go about town and breastfeed hands free in public. I can do it comfortably too. The hood allows for some extra coverage, although it would be cool if it were a bit wider. Unlike many other carriers, baby is body to body wth you. You can adjust the straps making baby sit lower, so breastfeeding upright in the carrier is super easy.
 
I have also continued to do layers with DD2. I hardly wear a nursing bra now. I use mostly nursing tanks or camis with no bras but stretch so I can pull down or up. I do not need much support, I am smaller breasted, we breastfeed often, and I do not leak much now (so I do not need to keep a nursing pad in place). If I do wear a bra, I prefer the stretchy pull aside cross front style. No snaps, clips, or buttons to deal with. I put a thin shirt on top in warmer months or a thicker one in colder ones. I wear my zip or button down sweater or jacket in really cold weather over the carrier or sling when really needed.
 
Now that I am more comfortable with NIP and it is also getting a lot warmer, I mostly just go with a nursing tank or cami. I pair that up with our carrier's hood and nobody really sees anything except a happy mommy and content toddler.
 
Mostly we get questions about our slings and carrier more than comments about our breastfeeding in public. Occasionally, a rude person will cast an ugly stare in restaurant or other place. I have learned to either ignore them or stare back, finally smiling, then looking down at my beautiful smiling child, and remembering that she is what really matters. I breastfeed for her, her wellness, her security, just for her. Breastfeeding is an affirmation of love and a gift I am thankful to give.
 

 
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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Day 1 at The Gym

I came home from my shortened trip to my grands and was disappointed the house had not changed in a week. Minus my portable dishwasher and convection oven sitting in the corner of the garage. (I knew it was silly to feel this way after such a short amount of time.) I was upset and did not know why I felt so unhappy with life, I was taking it out on my family by having such a down mood. We often hear that exercise can help alter one's mood. (I have a few studies I will be reading online.) I took a step forward and joined a gym.

This Monday was my first day. I went for an evening yoga class. I got there early to drop off my children in the childcare and fill out the necessary paperwork. When that was completed, I still had 20 minutes before class. It was a great time to get some cardio in. I found a machine towards the back of the gym where I could see the classroom. I wanted to make sure I paid attention to when the turbo kick class got out so I could get a space near the door for yoga. I like to be easily accessible in case my children need me and also be able to leave class without disturbing too many people.

The machine had the rotating foot "peddles" and stationary handles. One could adjust the tilt and resistance. I upped the resistance and lowered the tilt and was on my way. I did 15 minutes. For the first time in a long time I was sweating for a reason other than the temperature or running around the house like a crazy woman. It felt awesome.

When the other class was released I stood in line with the other potential yogis. I got the space in class I desired and awaited the beginning of the yoga class. We went through several warm ups and then a sequence, adding poses. Then came the pigeon....My right knee was not going to allow such a pose. So, I respectfully went into a child's pose until that segment was over. I tried but it really hurt way too much. As the teacher reminded us at the beginning of class, "Honor your injuries." I tried to honor mine. At the end of class, even with me bowing out of a segment and goofing on a few poses, I still felt good about the experience.

I had about 30 minutes remaining of "No Children" time. What was I going to do? The sauna, the sauna, the sauna. I sat in there for about 10 minutes and decided to leave before puking on the other people in there. I was sweating a great deal. Two days later, I can see a difference in my skin.

I am not sure how I feel about the childcare at this particular club. My oldest had to body guard DD2 from some unruly 5 year old boys. I wondered where the teachers were and what would happen if I only took DD2 with me at some point. Who would protect her from the kicks and aggressive pushing through? My children are not used to physical aggression, and really....Who's child should be used to physical aggression? I will have a talk with the teachers at the childcare on-site prior to going to work out. If that nonsense continues we will go to another club, no problem.

Overall, a good first time experience at the gym, I look forward to going next time.


Some links to the studies:

The effectiveness of exercise in the management of post-natal depression: systematic review and meta-analysis. (Daley 2009) http://search.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.apollolibrary.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=36926562&site=ehost-live

Get moving, fight toxins! Exercise for a cleansing rush. (Kennedy, 2010) http://search.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.apollolibrary.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=rzh&AN=2010607637&site=ehost-live

The role of nutrition in mental health. (Low Dog T, 2010) http://search.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.apollolibrary.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=rzh&AN=2010594842&site=ehost-live
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